i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
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I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
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You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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