You're so nebulous sometimes
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Randomize
