i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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