Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He passed out mid-signature
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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