garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
barbara walters just said penis...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
