so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
