So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
