ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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