Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
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He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
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After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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