Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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