I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
