So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
