thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
