You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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