...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
