the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs speak an international language.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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