You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
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