do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
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I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
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You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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