You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
