What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
