a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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