She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
After tacos, we're chasing women.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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