get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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