It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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