He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I'm really busy with my period
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