Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Im part way to drunk.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
