You just made me feel so damn special
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
i out mim tonsoeep
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