So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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