he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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