Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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