..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize