He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
