Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He? As in you personified your dick?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
