Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
