Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
