u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
