Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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