where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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