Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
