I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Success! We fucked roommates!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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