Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
