Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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