Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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