My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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