i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
i've created a new STD.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
