he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
