Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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