my mouth tastes like poor choices
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
