Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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