We're like a lot better than the average bears
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
