and she was petting her beer can
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
it glows. i had to have it.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
