ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize