i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
