"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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