It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
