I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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