this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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