You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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