All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
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so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
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Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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