I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
