the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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